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1. What changes did you make, based on the feedback you have received?
2. Address how your paper meets each of the criteria laid out for the assignment. What have you revised to ensure that your paper best meets the criteria?
In addition,this is the feedback of my prof. I want you to fix these things.
Paragraph 1:
Line 2: What do you mean by “pure” chicken?
Line 3: I was hungry, and I wanted to try it.
Line 3: The package shows how pure the chicken is.
Line 4: It has nutrition facts on the back
Line 5: Moreover, it is transparent on the sides, helping consumers see how the chicken is magnificent.
Line 7: The word “However” is an incorrect word choice. Just begin with the word “After.”
Line 9: The word “consumer” is being used in its possessive form, so you must use an apostrophe and “s”: consumer’s
Lines 9-10: Tyson chicken grabs the consumer’s attention by reflecting the cultural attitude in what they write on the food package—I am unsure what you mean in the last clause “and what it has of meaning.” Also, it is necessary for you to explain what you mean by “cultural attitude.”
Paragraph 2:
After you quote Pollan, elaborate a little more on why it is important to become critical consumers. In the quotation you chose, Pollan is discussing industrial agriculture, and how Americans have begun to question the impact of industrial agriculture. Why, specifically, does Pollan encourage us to critically think about what we are eating? What impact does he suggest certain types of foods have on our bodies? And what are those types of foods?
Don’t forget to include the page number at the end of the quotation.
Paragraph 3:
Line 2: Subject-verb agreement: that Tyson Chicken has.
Line 3: Word choice: to see the nutrition facts they have.
Lines 3-4: I found out many great things that helped me know more about Tyson Chicken.
Lines 4-6: Sentence boundaries: The chicken has a total fat of 13 grams; that is 20% of the daily value, and it is divided into 3 grams of saturated fat, zero trans fat, four and a half of polyunsaturated fat, and five grams of monounsaturated fat.
*Be sure to check the rules for punctuating sentences: http://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/owlprint/573/
Line 6: You need a subject/verb for the sentence to be complete: In addition, the chicken has thirty-five…
Paragraph 4:
Line 1: Spelling: grabbed

Line 5: Capitalize the first letter of each word in the article’s title: “What Are the Health Benefits of No Trans Fat?” (except, you do not have to capitalize the prepositions and articles).
Paragraph 5:
This paragraph contains two main ideas: 1.) the chicken does not contain preservatives and fillers, making it an attractive choice for the health-conscious. 2.) the chicken is already breaded and ready to cook in a short period of time, making it attractive to busy consumers. Separate this paragraph into two paragraphs, one on each of these topics.
Paragraph 6:
The conclusion needs to help me better understand where the chicken fits into the context of Pollan’s argument. You make the point earlier in the paper that Pollan argues that we need to critically think about our food. You need to elaborate on that point early in the paper, and in the conclusion talk about whether or not the chicken would be perceived as “healthy” according to Pollan—he suggests that we need to stay away from processed foods that make health claims, that we should choose foods with 5 or less ingredients, and that we should eat foods you can find along the periphery of the grocery store or at the farmer’s market. I agree with you that Tyson Chicken appears to be healthy—it might not fit into Pollan’s categories, and that is okay, but you should tell the reader why it is still a good choice.
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