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Essay 4
Radical Revision
As they say, “Hindsight is 20/20.” You should be able to look back at your writing over this quarter and see room for improvement just as any good writer can when they have a break from their words. Revision can seem tedious, but if you haven’t learned this already, it is one of the most important learning tools in the writing process. It’s your opportunity to make your essay stronger, more engaging, more clear, more descriptive, more powerful… You can see that the possibilities are endless, and this should be exciting!
Process
First of all, revisions are required. Your revision is also worth twice as much as the first time you submitted it because a.) This is our final, and b.) Having many resources to assist you, you should be able to “rock the house” the second time around. This means that I am expecting you to make substantial revisions. If you submit the same paper, without significant revision, expect to receive a much lower grade than you did previously. Please don’t go there.
What is Substantial Revision?
Developing and deepening your analysis, narrative, or argument is key in substantial revision. Think about other aspects of your essay: Should you add additional illustrations or examples? Delete some that aren’t working? Are your introduction and conclusion strong? Do you have a strong thesis? Is it well-supported? Is your title strong? Do you have strong transitions between paragraphs? Between sentences? Do you have strong flow and sentence structure? Are there grammar and punctuation problems that need work?
You may want to re-read a few sections in our textbook as a quick refresher:
Chapter 6: Supporting Your Point: Finding Details, Examples, and Facts, pages 72 – 79
Chapter 7: Making a Plan: Arranging Your Ideas, pages 80 – 87
Chapter 8: Drafting: Putting Your Ideas Together, pages 80 – 86
Chapter 9: Revising: Improving Your Paragraph or Essay, pages 104 – 118
You also have lots of help along the way. Listen to the comments I gave you (audio file) with the critique of your essay from its first submission, and look over your peer reviews. We’ll also have one final peer review to give you a chance to test out your revisions and see if they are working. If you have a particular part of your essay that you suspect is weak, ask your peers to pay special attention to it.
** If you haven’t discovered these resources already, please go to the home page and under “Resources” and check out the goodies I included to help make life easier. **
Which paper should you choose?
That decision is yours to make, but keep in mind that I will be grading you on is that you have made substantial revisions to your previous draft. I will also grade you on:
Things that you must include:
Your previous draft
A process statement in which you articulate what you revised and why.
This doesn’t have to be more than a page or two, but it should note specific weaknesses and improvements.
Your new and improved Radical Revision (revised draft)
All three of these documents need to be combined into a single document in one of the approved file formats (see student essay for an example). Be certain to indicate which was the first draft and which is your Radical Revision. Failure to follow these guidelines will result in a substantially lower grade.
Here is an Example Student Essay to show you the kind of revision I’m expecting.
Essay Format:
Your essay should be 4 – 5 pages in length excluding Works Cited if revising Essay #3 (you may exceed this if you feel inspired), double-spaced, 12 point font, and in one of the following formats: .rtf, .doc, .docx, or .pages. Please title your paper with your last name and the assignment. Example: TomberlinEssay4.doc.
You can make your old draft, new draft, and process statement all one document, or submit three separate attachments. Whatever you chose to do, be certain that you make it clear which draft is the old one and which is the new and improved version.
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